Sharpe Wit Read online

  She heard voices and followed them inside.

  Edwin was seated on the sofa fiddling with the remote control. He got the television on and tuned it to Wheel of Fortune. He turned the volume up so loud that Deena covered poor Hurley’s ears.

  “Good,” Edwin said. “I only missed one puzzle. Those cops were going to hear about it if I missed my program.”

  Ian grabbed the remote and turned the volume down to a reasonable level. Neither of the men had seen Deena yet. “Are you okay here, Edwin? Do you need anything? Do you have food in the house?”

  “I got everything I need but my car.”

  Ian placed a large manila envelope on the coffee table. “Now, you know the police said you couldn’t drive until you get your license renewed.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Edwin snapped. “I’ve been driving longer than most of those cops have been alive.” He reached for the remote as the game show came back from a commercial. “And my housekeeper, Lillian, makes sure there is plenty of food to eat. You go along now. Call me tomorrow when you know something about my case.”

  Ian looked back over his shoulder and spotted Deena. He motioned for her to walk back toward the door with him. “Are you here as a neighbor or reporter?”

  Deena’s smile slipped. “Hmm. As a neighbor, I guess. But if there is anything you can tell me for my story, I’d appreciate it. For example, what was Edwin charged with?”

  Ian rubbed the back of his neck. “I suppose I can tell you that. Cooper will probably tell you if I don’t. He was accused of disturbing the peace and making threats in a place of business. The charges would have been much worse if he’d been carrying a real gun.”

  “It wasn’t real? What do you mean?” She squeezed Hurley a little tighter to her chest.

  “It was a Confederate replica. Nonworking and unloaded.” He glanced back over his shoulder where Edwin was yelling out guesses for the puzzle. “Good thing the judge took mercy on him because of his age. He could have been charged with making a terroristic threat.”

  “What’s going to happen now?”

  “We have a court date scheduled for next week. Hopefully he’ll just get probation.”

  “That’s a relief. I really do think he’s harmless. Also, at his age, it would be quite upsetting to read in the obituaries that you had died. I mean, that would be scary.”

  Ian nodded in agreement. “By the way, what do you know about his family? He couldn’t seem to remember much in the state he was in.”

  “I know he has a son in California, but I think they are on the outs. He told Gary’s mother something about them. He has a granddaughter who lives around here. I think her name is Kim or Khloe or something that sounds like a Kardashian.”

  “Got it. I’ll try to get in touch with her. Someone besides a housekeeper needs to be looking out for him.”

  “I’m right here next door,” Deena said. But a small twinge of guilt struck her when she realized she hadn’t been checking on her neighbor or even noticing the poor condition of his lawn.

  “That’s good, but I would prefer he had a family member around. He’s a perfect target for some scammer to take advantage of.”

  “I’ll be more diligent,” Deena said. She followed Ian as he headed for the door. “And by the way, did Edwin know how his driver’s license and bank slip ended up in this other man’s pocket?”

  Ian raised an eyebrow. Deena had seen that look before when she’d worked with him. He was clearly impressed with her investigative skills. “He says he has no idea. Doesn’t remember going to the bank. The truth is, he may be getting a bit senile.”

  Deena nodded. Maybe she should encourage Edwin to see a doctor.

  “Oh, and one more thing,” Ian said as he stepped out onto the porch. “Edwin says he’s going to sue the coroner, the funeral home, the city—everyone except Santa Claus. But you know me, I’ll do my best to talk him out of it.”

  Deena laughed. “Typical, right? The defendant goes on the offense.”

  Ian switched his briefcase to the other hand and got out his car keys. “Yeah, but he might actually have a case.” He opened the door to his car to get in. “And just so you know, he also wants to sue the newspaper.”

  As Ian drove away, the smile on Deena’s face faded. The newspaper? They only reported what they were told. She wondered if she should tell Dan. Would that be a betrayal of Ian’s trust in her? He gave her some information on the record to go in her story, but she wasn’t positive about that last part.

  Never mind, she thought. Ian would talk Edwin out of bringing suit, if he even remembered, that is. She turned and headed back inside the house.

  Edwin continued to watch his show and call out letters and guesses as though he were a contestant. He wore a long-sleeved beige shirt and dark-blue trousers. His brown shoes hadn’t been polished in ages. It appeared he’d missed a button on his shirt. His well-aged hand gripped the remote as if it were his only lifeline. Actually, it probably was since he didn’t seem to leave the house much.

  Not wanting to startle him, Deena walked a wide circle before coming into his view. At first he gave her a quick sneer; then his eyes landed on Hurley. “Here, boy,” he called and patted his leg. Hurley squirmed out of Deena’s arms and ran over to the sofa.

  “How’s it going, Edwin?”

  “Shhh,” he said.

  It was clear Deena would have to wait until the game show was over to have a conversation. She glanced at the envelope on the table, curious about the contents. Looking around, she made her way to the kitchen to check out the refrigerator and pantry. Sure enough, the pantry was filled with canned goods and all the staples Edwin should need. The refrigerator had several pans covered in foil, fresh milk, juice, and fruit. There were even protein shakes in several flavors. If this was Lillian’s doing, she was obviously taking good care of him.

  For a minute, Deena considered trying to get in touch with the housekeeper herself. Not for information for her story but to inquire about having home-cooked meals delivered to her house. Deena hated cooking. If it weren’t for Gary’s grill, they’d probably starve to death.

  “Mrs. Sharpe,” Edwin called from the den. “Look what your dog did.”

  Deena grabbed some paper towels and rushed around the corner, expecting to have to clean up a mess. There was Hurley sitting in the middle of the floor with the biggest bone she’d ever seen outside of a museum. Was it human?

  “Look at that,” Edwin said proudly. “Hurley found one of Buster’s old bones from behind the television!”

  Buster was the dog Edwin had when he’d moved to the neighborhood. Apparently, Hurley was the spittin’ image of him.

  Deena let out a sigh of relief. “Wow. I’m surprised he was able to drag it out.”

  Just then the doorbell rang.

  “Who in tarnation is that?” Edwin groaned as he tried to lift himself from the sofa.

  “Stay there. I’ll get it.” Deena was surprised Hurley hadn’t barked and followed her. He was obviously obsessed with his new treasure.

  She opened the door and immediately recognized Edwin’s granddaughter. Her pink hair and nose ring reminded Deena of the rebellious teenagers Deena used to teach. The problem was that this girl wasn’t a teenager. She appeared to be well into her thirties and should have known you couldn’t hold down a decent job looking like she did.

  “Where’s my granddad?” she asked, without saying hello. “Is it true he’s dead?”

  Deena reached out her hand. “I’m Deena Sharpe. I live next door. And your grandfather is fine.” She stepped to the side and waved a hand. “Come on in.”

  The young woman skirted past Deena and headed straight to the den. “Granddad?” She leaned down and gave the man a hug. “The newspaper said you had died. I freaked.”

  He let her go and motioned to a side chair. “Have a seat, Kitty. Yeah. I’m going to sue them and everyone else who told that lie.” He cocked his head toward Deena. “See that? Emotional distress. The whol
e family’s got it. You’re a witness.”

  Deena started to say something, but Kitty—obviously not a Kardashian—interrupted.

  “I couldn’t believe it.” Kitty shook her head. “You were fine the other day when I was here. Nobody dies that fast.”

  Maybe you should tell that to John Doe at Mortimer’s Funeral Home. Deena sat on the floor next to Hurley, wondering if she’d have the leg strength to get up.

  Edwin’s eyes appeared glazed over and he spoke slowly. “Were you here the other day?”

  “Yes. Don’t you remember?” Kitty glanced at Deena defensively. “I brought you that cream you said you saw on TV and wanted for your feet.”

  “Oh. That’s right.” He didn’t sound very convincing. “How’s Jay?”

  “My boyfriend is Clay, Granddad. Remember?”

  Edwin stared at the television, but his thoughts seemed to be elsewhere. At last he said, “Would you mind going down to the funeral home and getting my car? The police say I can’t drive. My keys should be on the dresser. Oh, wait. Maybe they are in this envelope.” He reached down and picked it up. His hands were visibly shaking.

  “I have my own set of your keys, Granddad. Don’t you remember?”

  The awkwardness was too much for Deena to take. “Does anyone want some iced tea or coffee? I can make us some.”

  “I’m not staying,” Kitty said. “I just wanted to make sure my granddad was okay.” She looked back at Edwin. “Clay and I will bring your car by tomorrow.”

  “You’re a good girl,” Edwin said as if the grown woman were a child sitting on his knee. “And don’t worry. If anything happens to me, I’ll take care of you. Everything I have is going to you.” He threw down the envelope without opening it and picked up the remote, finding another game show to watch.

  Kitty kissed her grandfather on the cheek and headed toward the door.

  Deena scribbled her phone number on a piece of paper and then followed Kitty outside. “If you need anything, you can call me. I live right next door.” Deena motioned to her house.

  Kitty gave her a once-over. “What did you say your name was again?”

  “Deena.”

  Kitty looked back at the house. “Huh. I thought maybe you were Marcie.”

  Chapter 5

  Deena had just enough time to add the last few facts to her story before she had to email it to Dan. A few back-and-forth phone calls later, the story was done and headed to the copyeditor. Dan told her he was pleased with the amount of information she had managed to uncover.

  She checked her other emails to see if there was anything important. Her favorite mystery author had a new book out, and it seemed like every store known to man was having a clearance sale. She eyed a few of the swimsuits while trying to picture her winter body in them. Yuck.

  Gary was back from the gym and dressed in casual attire. “It looks like you’re done here,” he said. “Want to come up to the new office with me?”

  She quickly closed out her email. “Do you really need me? I thought you and Scott were going to talk business.”

  “We are. We’re going to make a spreadsheet of all our current and potential clients and plan a big mailout introducing our new company.”

  Deena thought about it. If she’d looked up the word boring in the dictionary, that activity would be at the top of the list. “Uh, that sounds like a job for Vera.”

  “We told Vera to take the rest of the day off. I think she was getting her hair done this afternoon.”

  “Well, as much fun as that sounds, I think I’ll pass.” She didn’t look up to see the disappointment on her husband’s face.

  “Well, if you change your mind,” he said, “we’ll be there until five.”

  “You boys have fun,” she said as she opened her browser to check a national news app.

  Gary turned and left.

  A few minutes later, Deena looked around. “Gary?”

  He had already gone. It wasn’t like him to leave without giving her a kiss on the cheek. She’d try to remember to say something about it to him later.

  Her cell phone dinged. Maybe it was him. She looked at the message expectantly, but it was from Dan. He said the police had faxed over the sketch of John Doe, and they were moving her story to the front page. She felt her pulse quicken. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had front-page stories before, but it always gave her an adrenaline rush. It reminded her of those dreams where you find yourself out in public wearing your jammies, or worse, wearing nothing at all.

  She scrolled back to the photo of John Doe. Mortimer’s had done a nice job of making the man appear at peace, although his lips were a bit too pink. Staring at his face took her back several years to when her uncle had been a John Doe and she had figured out who had killed him fifty years earlier.

  That gave her a thought. If she could figure out this man’s identity before the police did, she’d have a true exclusive for the newspaper. Not only that, but she’d hopefully be able to figure out why the man was walking around with Edwin Cooper’s ID.

  So, where could she go to get information about a man no one in town seemed to know? She snapped her fingers. “The Pine Tree Motel.”

  Hurley looked up from the floor and tilted his head.

  “Sorry, boy. I was talking to myself. You stay here. I’ve got a story to follow.”

  She grabbed her things and headed to the garage to get in the car. Although she had been to the seedy motel across town on other investigations, it wasn’t her favorite place to go alone. She couldn’t ask Gary to go with her—he was working. But there was one person who knew her way around the place. She pulled her car out of the driveway and headed toward the church.

  * * *

  DARLENE WATSON WAS the secretary at the First Methodist Church where Deena and Gary attended. In her mid-forties and twice divorced, she was one of Reverend Abbott’s “projects.” Although a little eccentric, she knew everyone in town and had helped Deena out in the past.

  As usual, she was filing her bright red nails at the front desk when Deena walked in. This time, though, she had earbuds in and was humming along with some song playing on her cell phone.

  Deena waved a hand in front of the woman’s face to get her to look up.

  Darlene pulled at the earbuds, and they became tangled in her frizzy hair. It was more blond today than its usual auburn color. “Oh, fiddle-de-dee,” she said as she tried to extricate the device. “Why don’t they make these dang things wireless!”

  “They do,” Deena said as she watched the wrestling match in front of her.

  Finally, Darlene got them off—along with a little bonus hair—and threw them on the desk. She pulled a large hand mirror from the drawer and looked at her messy hairdo. “Oh dear. There’s a hole on the side.” She pulled out an industrial- size can of hairspray and attacked the mop. Finally, satisfied, she put away the beauty supplies and turned to Deena. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Sharpe. You are looking mighty nice today. How may I help you?”

  Yep. Darlene was just the right person to take on her romp down to the Pine Tree Motel. Deena leaned over the desk in a conspiratorial fashion. “Darlene, I’ve got a story I’m working on and I could use your help.”

  The woman’s eyes widened. “Oh, really? Is it a murder-for-hire? A kidnapping? One of those sex-trafficking cases?” She pushed at the side of her sticky hair. “You know I could go under cover as a minor if you need me to. Everyone says I look a lot younger than my age.”

  Deena stifled a laugh. “It’s nothing that dramatic. But it is pretty mysterious.”

  “Mrs. Sharpe, you know how important justice is to me. I was willing to go to jail if I had to. Remember?”

  “Oh, I remember,” Deena said. How could she forget when Darlene confessed to killing a man who died of natural causes. “There’s a John Doe in the funeral home and no one seems to know who he is. Here’s the picture. Do you recognize him?” Deena pulled up the photo on her cell phone.

  “Are you a hundred per
cent positive he’s dead? I mean, he looks like he’s sleeping to me. Looks like he could just sit up and talk to you.” She took the phone and moved it in and out to get a good look.

  “He’s dead, all right. Do you recognize him?”

  Darlene’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t say that I do, but I can’t say that I don’t. He looks a little bit familiar, but that might be because I’m looking at him right now in this picture.”

  Deena wasn’t sure of the logic but said nothing.

  Darlene sighed. “You know there are so many people who come through here, and then there’s the folks at bingo and the VFW—it’s hard to remember everyone.”

  Deena took the phone back. “I’m sure it is. That’s why I was hoping you might come with me to ask some of the folks across town.”

  “Across town where?”

  “You know,” Deena said, “on the other side of town.” She assumed everyone knew that was code for the rough outskirts of Maycroft.

  Apparently, Darlene didn’t. She stared back at Deena, her face a blank slate.

  Deena finally said, “You know, under the bridge and at the Pine Tree Motel.”

  “Ohhh. I know where that is.” She waved a hand at Deena. “I’m surprised you don’t know where that is after living here since Moses was born. Sure, I’ll take you. Let me just tell Reverend Abbott I’ve got to run an errand to help one of his flock. I’ll be right back.”

  Deena felt a little guilty about taking the church secretary away from her post, but she was pretty sure the place could manage to run for the next hour without her.

  Chapter 6

  Darlene came back out from around the corner and followed Deena to the parking lot. “It would be best if you drive, Mrs. Sharpe. My old car doesn’t always start. I’d hate to get stuck.”

  “This way,” Deena said and headed for her SUV. “And call me Deena.”